Chapter 24 — At the Highest Point

I stayed against her for a long time.

Not really crying.

Not really talking either.

Just… there.

My arms around her. Her coat under my fingers. Her calm breathing against me.

I had never realized how much holding someone could silence so many things in your head.

At first, I could still feel my heart beating too fast. The anger from the evening, Jade’s words, the shame, all of it was still turning somewhere.

Then it slowed.

Very slowly.

As if someone had finally turned down the volume of the world.

Lyralda said nothing.

Her hand moved gently over my back from time to time, a simple gesture, almost absent. Not to calm me. Not to control me.

Just to be there.

I finally breathed out:

“Sorry.”

She didn’t answer immediately.

Then she simply said:

“I know.”

I stayed against her a few more seconds.

Then I pulled back a little.

She was looking at me.

Not with that precise gaze she had at the office. Not the one she used when she was analyzing something.

This one was more… open.

As if she was no longer trying to understand.

“Do you want to sit down?” she asked.

I nodded.

We went to sit on the sofa.

I sat a little stiffly, hands between my knees. She sat beside me, not too far, but not pressed against me either.

Silence fell again.

This time, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Just fragile.

“Jade invited me over tonight,” I finally said.

“I suspected.”

I turned my head toward her.

“Really?”

She gave a small smile.

“You had the face of someone who had just been told the truth by someone who doesn’t bother much with diplomacy.”

I let out a breath.

“That’s exactly it.”

Small silence.

“She called me a little puppy incapable of expressing himself.”

Lyralda raised her eyebrows slightly.

“Cute.”

“No.”

I ran a hand through my hair.

“At the time, I thought I was going to snap.”

“And then?”

I lowered my eyes.

“Then… I realized she was right about some things.”

She didn’t answer right away.

Then she said softly:

“It’s not always pleasant to be right.”

I lifted my head.

“You think?”

“Yes.”

She crossed her arms.

“Because it means someone had already been hurting for a while.”

I stayed silent.

Then I breathed out:

“I’m tired of thinking all the time.”

She gave a small smile.

“So am I.”

I looked at her.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

She lifted one shoulder.

“You think it’s restful to be someone who sees everything?”

I stayed surprised for a second.

I had never thought of her as someone who could be tired of thinking.

“But you give the impression that everything is simple.”

She gave a small laugh.

“No.”

She tilted her head slightly.

“I give the impression that I know what to do even when I don’t.”

Silence returned.

Then she looked at me. More seriously.

“Eliott.”

“Yes?”

“You know I never saw you as a plan B?”

I felt my stomach tighten.

“I know.”

She fixed her eyes on me for a moment.

“No.”

Her voice was calm.

“You understand it now.”

She moved slightly closer on the sofa.

“But I still want to say it.”

I didn’t move.

“When we kissed the first time…”

She stopped for one second.

“It surprised me.”

“Sorry.”

She gently shook her head.

“No.”

Small silence.

“Mostly, it scared me.”

I frowned slightly.

“Scared?”

“Yes.”

She was looking at the floor now.

“Because I already knew you were someone who felt a lot.”

She lifted her eyes to mine.

“And that you were capable of hurting yourself very deeply if you got it wrong.”

I stayed still.

I felt something loosen in my chest.

Not complete relief.

But something very close.

She observed my face for a few seconds.

Then she said:

“Come here.”

I didn’t even have time to think.

She gently pulled on my arm.

I found myself closer to her on the sofa.

Very close.

Her fingers came to rest against my cheek.

I felt my heart speed up.

Not panic.

Just… something alive.

She passed her thumb under my eye.

“You’re exhausted.”

“Yes.”

“And a little stupid.”

I let out a small laugh.

“That too.”

She smiled.

Then her hand slid into my hair.

The gesture was slow. Natural.

I was no longer thinking about what I should do.

I was no longer thinking about what I should be.

I was simply looking at her.

And for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel like I was being observed as a problem to solve.

She murmured:

“You know what I like about you?”

I blinked.

“No.”

She gave a small smile.

“You always try to understand people.”

“That’s a flaw.”

“Sometimes.”

She lifted her shoulders slightly.

“But it also means you care about others.”

The word stayed in the air.

I didn’t know what to do with it.

She saw it immediately.

“Does that scare you?”

“A little.”

“Why?”

I shrugged.

“Because I always feel like if I truly love someone… I’m bound to lose them.”

She didn’t answer right away.

Then she gently placed her forehead against mine.

The gesture was so simple I stayed still.

“Eliott.”

Her voice was very low.

“There’s something you haven’t understood yet.”

“What?”

Her fingers tightened slightly around my hand.

“You’re not losing me.”

I felt my throat tighten.

She stayed there, forehead against mine.

Then she murmured:

“You’re finding me.”

The world seemed to slow for one second.

I looked at her.

She was looking at me.

And this time, there was nothing complicated in her eyes anymore.

Just something very clear.

I gently passed my hand over her back.

“Lyralda…”

She didn’t wait for the end of the sentence.

Her lips came to rest against mine.

The kiss was different from all the others.

Not rushed. Not hesitant either.

Just… soft.

I felt my body relax completely.

As if everything I had been carrying these past months was slowly dissolving.

When she pulled back slightly, she was smiling.

“You see.”

I breathed softly.

“What?”

She lifted her shoulders.

“You know how to exist.”

I stayed looking at her for a few seconds.

Then I smiled too.

Maybe this time…

I no longer needed to fight against myself.